You deserve to be happy, too

Your brain never shuts off.

You’re the one everyone turns to and the default decision maker for the family.

Juggling meals, laundry, appointments – you’re a walking post-it note, and life is an endless to-do list.

It feels like each day blends into the next as your mental load gets heavier and heavier. You’re running on empty.

Resentment is building.

You make dinner as the kids pepper you with a million questions. Meanwhile, your partner sits on the couch, blissfully unaware of the chaos going on in the next room.

“How did I become the person responsible for every single thing?” you wonder to yourself.

You’re fuming inside and feel disconnected from the person you fell in love with. Although you’re always surrounded by people, you feel all alone.

You have so little time.

Finally, the house is quiet and everyone is sleeping. You know you should try to get some rest, but this is the only time you have to yourself.

So, you lie awake, endlessly doom-scrolling on your phone. At least, it doesn’t require any brain power.

But it does lead to another exhausted morning, trying desperately to summon the energy to do it all again.

Asking for help doesn’t help.

Even when you try to delegate responsibility or get some assistance, it just leads to more headaches.

It started with no one being able to care for your kids or keep the house quite like you do, so it felt easier to simply do it yourself.

But now, it’s turned into you being the default person for everything and everyone. You stopped asking for help, but sometimes you wonder why you should even have to ask.

Even having fun has become a chore.

You used to look forward to a night out with your friends, but now invitations just feel like one more thing on your plate.

“What am I going to wear? Who’s going to watch the kids?” Saying yes adds 20 more to-dos on your list and a whole range of new decisions to make.

Thinking about the step-by-step bedtime routine instructions you’ll have to leave, and the exhaustion of coming home late to an unclean house, feels like more trouble than it’s worth.

This exhaustion is more than just physical.

You’re burnt out, constantly irritable, snapping at loved ones, only to immediately feel guilty about it.

Every day, you feel more disconnected from the person you were before kids and wonder if you even know who that person is anymore.

You show everyone else such patience and compassion, but for some reason, you can’t seem to extend any of that to yourself.

You know things can be better and you deserve to be happy, too, but you feel selfish for wanting more.